Joe Pitt is a conflicted and guilt ridden man struggling to overcome the rules he thinks he supposed to live by and the expectations of everyone in his life. In the play, Angels in America by Tony Kushner, I found every character unique and intriguing for their own individual qualities. Each person brought a new voice to the struggle of everyday life and survival. But, Joe Pitt. . . he was different. We actually watched him grow and begin to change into a different man.
We learn early in the play that Joe is quick to deny his homosexuality. In his initial exchange in the bathroom with Louis (scene 6), he is referenced by Louis as a gay Republican. Joe was quick to say, “Not gay. I’m not gay.” (p.35) Then he makes a small recant by inferring through questions to Louis whether he perceives him as gay. This moment is significant because we learn this is a man that denies what he knows about himself.
His inner conflict is presented again (scene 8) when Harper, his wife, confronts him and asks him if he is gay. It is obvious that he wants to be honest, but can’t bring himself to come out and say it. For the first time, he tells the audience why, “Does it make any difference? That I might be one thing deep within, no matter how wrong or ugly that thing is, so long as I have fought, with everything I have, to kill it. What do you want from me? What do you want from me, Harper? More than that? For God’s sake, there’s nothing left, I’m a shell. There’s nothing left to kill. As long as my behavior is what I know it has to be. Decent. Correct. That alone in the eyes of God.” . . . . . “All I will say is that I am a very good man who has worked very hard to become good and you want to destroy that. You want to destroy me, but I am not going to let you do that.” Joe was raised a Mormon and truly believes that his homosexuality makes him a bad person. That somehow he can’t be a good person, loved by God if he is gay. He even goes so far as to compare his struggle with a biblical image from his childhood where an angel wrestles with Jacob. (p.55)
Joe’s struggle and reflection into himself leads to a growth in honesty with the people around him. This continues at a rapid pace after Harper confronts him, and builds as the play progresses. When Joe meets up with Louis in front of the Justice Building, he is chugging Pepto-Bismol and admits during their conversation, “I can’t be this anymore. I need. . . a change, I should just. . .” Louis replies, “Sometimes, even if it scares you to death, you have to be willing to break the law. Know what I mean?” And Joe admits, “Yes.” (p.79). He is beginning to see realize that he needs to be willing to rise above his fear.
This propels him to further expose himself by calling his mother and revealing he is homosexual. Still obviously conflicted by what this means, he tells her in a way that exhibits a plea for acceptance and to be loved. (p.82) By the end of the play, Joe has discussed with Harper a separation and initiates a sexual relationship with Louis. While I don’t believe that Joe had wrestled all his demons and overcome his fear that God and his mother and all the other people in his life wouldn’t love him, it is clear that out of all of the characters in the play, he was the one that grew, learned and developed.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
The first rule of fight club. . . .
As soon as I finished reading and put down Fight Club, my husband walked over and picked it up. The first words out of his mouth, “How was it compared to the movie?” My honest response, “So much better-you should read it!” He and I must have sat through the movie version of Fight Club at least a dozen times since it was released. We saw it in the theater and own it on VHS and DVD. I have often teased him that it is such a “guys” movie because of the escalating violence. I had always appreciated it for its intelligence, not knowing or understanding, his attraction to the story. At least, not until I read the book.
As in most cases, the movie can not possibly provide the insight and inner thoughts of the characters in the way that a book can. Movies do not allow for the level of detail that a book provides. While I do believe that the movie version was done very well, I do think that a few of the scenes cut and/or modified would have been beneficial for the audience to experience. If only for the story to send all of the messages that it intends.
One of the most important scenes that was eliminated completely from the movie is where the Narrator is on the bus on his way to work and he is confronted with the knowledge that he has blown up and murdered his boss. "I am the Pit of Joe's Stomach. It's my desk. I know my boss is dead."(p.185) It is at this moment he sees how he had given himself to Tyler. He had provided permission for Tyler to create the mayhem and murder that had ensued. The Narrator begins to make the deeper connection of Tyler's purpose. "I wanted out of my job. I was giving Tyler permission. Be my guest. Kill my boss."(p.187) This whole scene gives the reader a stronger feeling to the rising panic within him regarding Tyler and the reality that he has no control over what he has started.
His helplessness is further compounded when it is followed by another key scene where the Narrator is attacked on the bus by the other passengers and the police that board it. Their "homework" is to castrate him for trying to unravel the chaos that he allowed Tyler to create. Tyler knowing this would be something he would try to do, has advised the men to castrate him. "Picture the best part of yourself frozen in a sandwich bag at the Paper Street Soap Company." (p.188) This single statement get to the heart of the message. After all, men tend to correlate the masculinity to their anatomy.
It is also important to note the way that Palahniuk describes these two scenes and the thoughts that raced through the Narrator’s mind which created a sense of urgency, fear and lack of control that the story needed. After all, one of the main points of the story is that men feel that they have lost their masculinity and their raw animal instinct in the machine of society. Here we learn about the regret of a man that found it again, only to lose the stomach for it.
Another key message that is also entwined in these scenes relates to the other men. The "followers". They become the blind faithful because they believe in Fight Club? Or is it because it gives them a feeling of belonging to something more then the emasculating life they live? Unfortunately, they only substitute their feeling of powerlessness to become mindless soldiers that blindly listened to and did what Tyler wanted. They weren’t thinking for themselves, but merely buying into someone or something else because of their own issues with who they had become.
I honestly believe that even as a woman, this story is something that can be easily identified with. Who hasn’t had a crisis of character and felt as if they were two people in one? A million times I have been confronted with a question of conscience, fighting myself as to what I should do and who I should be. Am I good with a little bit of evil? Or am I evil with moments where I am good? Is the life that I lead all that there is for me? Do I surround myself with things that the world has told me I need, but that I would never have wanted otherwise? I believe like the Narrator, we have all suffered at one time or another a feeling of inadequacy or an overwhelming sense that we do not measure up. Or maybe we aren't living the path that was meant for us. It can be so tempting to tear it all down-to take the highest building and burn it (metaphorically). That is why this book is so meaningful. And, why it is an instant classic where people to this day will say, "The first rule of fight club. . . ." and we all know what they mean.
As in most cases, the movie can not possibly provide the insight and inner thoughts of the characters in the way that a book can. Movies do not allow for the level of detail that a book provides. While I do believe that the movie version was done very well, I do think that a few of the scenes cut and/or modified would have been beneficial for the audience to experience. If only for the story to send all of the messages that it intends.
One of the most important scenes that was eliminated completely from the movie is where the Narrator is on the bus on his way to work and he is confronted with the knowledge that he has blown up and murdered his boss. "I am the Pit of Joe's Stomach. It's my desk. I know my boss is dead."(p.185) It is at this moment he sees how he had given himself to Tyler. He had provided permission for Tyler to create the mayhem and murder that had ensued. The Narrator begins to make the deeper connection of Tyler's purpose. "I wanted out of my job. I was giving Tyler permission. Be my guest. Kill my boss."(p.187) This whole scene gives the reader a stronger feeling to the rising panic within him regarding Tyler and the reality that he has no control over what he has started.
His helplessness is further compounded when it is followed by another key scene where the Narrator is attacked on the bus by the other passengers and the police that board it. Their "homework" is to castrate him for trying to unravel the chaos that he allowed Tyler to create. Tyler knowing this would be something he would try to do, has advised the men to castrate him. "Picture the best part of yourself frozen in a sandwich bag at the Paper Street Soap Company." (p.188) This single statement get to the heart of the message. After all, men tend to correlate the masculinity to their anatomy.
It is also important to note the way that Palahniuk describes these two scenes and the thoughts that raced through the Narrator’s mind which created a sense of urgency, fear and lack of control that the story needed. After all, one of the main points of the story is that men feel that they have lost their masculinity and their raw animal instinct in the machine of society. Here we learn about the regret of a man that found it again, only to lose the stomach for it.
Another key message that is also entwined in these scenes relates to the other men. The "followers". They become the blind faithful because they believe in Fight Club? Or is it because it gives them a feeling of belonging to something more then the emasculating life they live? Unfortunately, they only substitute their feeling of powerlessness to become mindless soldiers that blindly listened to and did what Tyler wanted. They weren’t thinking for themselves, but merely buying into someone or something else because of their own issues with who they had become.
I honestly believe that even as a woman, this story is something that can be easily identified with. Who hasn’t had a crisis of character and felt as if they were two people in one? A million times I have been confronted with a question of conscience, fighting myself as to what I should do and who I should be. Am I good with a little bit of evil? Or am I evil with moments where I am good? Is the life that I lead all that there is for me? Do I surround myself with things that the world has told me I need, but that I would never have wanted otherwise? I believe like the Narrator, we have all suffered at one time or another a feeling of inadequacy or an overwhelming sense that we do not measure up. Or maybe we aren't living the path that was meant for us. It can be so tempting to tear it all down-to take the highest building and burn it (metaphorically). That is why this book is so meaningful. And, why it is an instant classic where people to this day will say, "The first rule of fight club. . . ." and we all know what they mean.
Monday, April 6, 2009
The Journey to Finding Your True Self
An important and significant message in the book Ceremony by Leslie Silko is the journey to finding your true identity and honest self.
We first meet the main character of the story, Tayo, when he is struggling between who he is as a half white and half Native American youth. He is abandoned by his promiscuous mother and left to his Native American family who appears to have little desire for his presence. His struggle stems from his internal conflict of who he is supposed to be and what he feels he is. His own conflict is further perpetuated by the identity he assumes by the family and friends in his life.
Over the course of the story we learn of Tayo’s loyalty to his cousin Rocky, a family favored full Native American that seemingly rejects his own culture. Tayo follows Rocky into the war and is devastated by his death. When they leave for the war he tells his Aunt, “‘I’ll bring him back safe. . . You don’t have to worry.’ She looked up from her Bible and he could see that she was waiting for something to happen; but he knew that she always hoped, that she always expected it to happen to him, not to Rocky.”(p73) This interaction illustrates Tayo’s perception of what role he plays in the family. He feels expendable and inferior to his cousin.
Taking responsibility for failing to protect Rocky from being killed in the war becomes consuming and his reaction results in an endless battle both physically and emotionally. When Tayo returns to the U.S. from the war, he spends a period of time in the veteran’s hospital where he is overcome with physical illness and remorse. In fact, his own vision is distorted to a blurred white fog. When he finally returns to his Aunt and Uncle’s home, he continues to be bedridden and suffers countless nightmares. It isn’t until he is visited by Ko’oosh, a medicine man, that we learn Tayo’s real struggle. “He cried trying to release the great pressure that was swelling inside his chest, but he got no relief from crying any more. The pain was solid and constant as the beating of his own heart. The old man made him certain of something he had feared all along, something in the old stories. It took only one person to tear away the delicate strands of the web, spilling the rays of sun into the sand, and the fragile world would be injured.”(p38) It is here that we learn of Tayo’s connection to the land and the conflict he feels by his “half-breed” identity and the bond between his soul and the earth. He truly felt that if he made a mistake or caused an unnecessary death, he would rock everything off its course. But he couldn’t really reconcile why he felt this way. It isn’t until the medicine man provides his with an old remedy that he begins to heal.
As the story continues we experience the unique relationship that Tayo has with his friends, Harley, Leroy, Emo and Pinkie. They had all experienced the trial of war and returned home to struggle with what they experienced. Each man used alcohol and violence as a way to escape what they felt. Tayo is torn by this behavior. It is easy for him to fall into what they are doing by drinking, and on several occasions joins them. But, he is never able to allow the alcohol to provide him with the getaway that he is looking for. And he can not relate to their destructive behavior. I believe his inability to be like his friends only proves to him further that he is different, maybe even crazy.
At the conclusion, Tayo develops an understanding of his purpose and begins to see his place in the world as his own journey. He overcomes the loss of Josiah’s cattle by pursuing their recovery on his own and accomplishing it. He finds love in a being that symbolizes the root ties of his heritage and the connection to nature. It isn’t until he finds this peace that he is able to pass the final test in the desert when Harley is brutally tortured and murdered and he withholds the urge to intervene with the screwdriver.
This story provides a complex and compelling story of the journey we all face as humans trying to find our place in the world. We all face conflicts between who we are in our culture, family and who we are to ourselves. It is difficult to shed the preconceived assumptions of who you should be to become who you inevitably are. This is a journey that begins from the day we are born and doesn’t end until our last breath. Old Grandma said it best, “It seems like I already heard these stories before. . . only thing is, the names sound different.”
We first meet the main character of the story, Tayo, when he is struggling between who he is as a half white and half Native American youth. He is abandoned by his promiscuous mother and left to his Native American family who appears to have little desire for his presence. His struggle stems from his internal conflict of who he is supposed to be and what he feels he is. His own conflict is further perpetuated by the identity he assumes by the family and friends in his life.
Over the course of the story we learn of Tayo’s loyalty to his cousin Rocky, a family favored full Native American that seemingly rejects his own culture. Tayo follows Rocky into the war and is devastated by his death. When they leave for the war he tells his Aunt, “‘I’ll bring him back safe. . . You don’t have to worry.’ She looked up from her Bible and he could see that she was waiting for something to happen; but he knew that she always hoped, that she always expected it to happen to him, not to Rocky.”(p73) This interaction illustrates Tayo’s perception of what role he plays in the family. He feels expendable and inferior to his cousin.
Taking responsibility for failing to protect Rocky from being killed in the war becomes consuming and his reaction results in an endless battle both physically and emotionally. When Tayo returns to the U.S. from the war, he spends a period of time in the veteran’s hospital where he is overcome with physical illness and remorse. In fact, his own vision is distorted to a blurred white fog. When he finally returns to his Aunt and Uncle’s home, he continues to be bedridden and suffers countless nightmares. It isn’t until he is visited by Ko’oosh, a medicine man, that we learn Tayo’s real struggle. “He cried trying to release the great pressure that was swelling inside his chest, but he got no relief from crying any more. The pain was solid and constant as the beating of his own heart. The old man made him certain of something he had feared all along, something in the old stories. It took only one person to tear away the delicate strands of the web, spilling the rays of sun into the sand, and the fragile world would be injured.”(p38) It is here that we learn of Tayo’s connection to the land and the conflict he feels by his “half-breed” identity and the bond between his soul and the earth. He truly felt that if he made a mistake or caused an unnecessary death, he would rock everything off its course. But he couldn’t really reconcile why he felt this way. It isn’t until the medicine man provides his with an old remedy that he begins to heal.
As the story continues we experience the unique relationship that Tayo has with his friends, Harley, Leroy, Emo and Pinkie. They had all experienced the trial of war and returned home to struggle with what they experienced. Each man used alcohol and violence as a way to escape what they felt. Tayo is torn by this behavior. It is easy for him to fall into what they are doing by drinking, and on several occasions joins them. But, he is never able to allow the alcohol to provide him with the getaway that he is looking for. And he can not relate to their destructive behavior. I believe his inability to be like his friends only proves to him further that he is different, maybe even crazy.
At the conclusion, Tayo develops an understanding of his purpose and begins to see his place in the world as his own journey. He overcomes the loss of Josiah’s cattle by pursuing their recovery on his own and accomplishing it. He finds love in a being that symbolizes the root ties of his heritage and the connection to nature. It isn’t until he finds this peace that he is able to pass the final test in the desert when Harley is brutally tortured and murdered and he withholds the urge to intervene with the screwdriver.
This story provides a complex and compelling story of the journey we all face as humans trying to find our place in the world. We all face conflicts between who we are in our culture, family and who we are to ourselves. It is difficult to shed the preconceived assumptions of who you should be to become who you inevitably are. This is a journey that begins from the day we are born and doesn’t end until our last breath. Old Grandma said it best, “It seems like I already heard these stories before. . . only thing is, the names sound different.”
Monday, March 9, 2009
In Cold Blood-Why?
After completing my reading of “In Cold Blood” by Truman Capote, and giving myself a few days to really think the story through from beginning to end, it struck me. . . . What is Capote’s message to the reader? He tells a violent and horrific story that focuses on the impact that two men have on a community when they savagely and senselessly murder a family. My question is, why?
To begin to try and answer this myself, I thought it best to try and read behind the story. Throughout the book I was carried along through a story that is riveting, shocking, and all consuming. I met and became familiar with various characters that provide to me historical and “current” information about themselves and the two men who carried out the murders, Dick and Perry. I even experienced portions of the story through the eyes of these men. In the way that Capote designed this book, it was easy to get lost in the question to why they committed these killings. What drove them? Is it how they were raised or from the traumas they endured? Or were they just born evil? These are questions that I can’t answer. I don’t think anyone can answer. By trying to, we miss the bigger picture.
There is a paragraph (p. 271) that begins, “The Garden City Telegram, on the eve of the trial’s start, printed the following editorial: ‘Some may think the eyes of the entire nation are on the Garden City during this sensational murder trial. But they are not. Even a hundred miles west of here in
The book continues with the story of the trial and the conviction and then brings the reader to the time that Dick and Perry spent on Death Row. At this point Capote reinforces the prevailing violence by introducing Earl Wilson, Bobby Jo Spencer and Lowell Lee Andrews (p. 311)-inmates that are on death row when Dick and Perry arrive. For the next 10 pages a recounting of their violent acts is detailed, along with an opportunity to learn about these men too. This is done in a way similar to how Dick and Perry’s murders were told. By page 322 the final two death row inmates are mentioned when they arrive, George Ronald York and James Douglas Latham. In my opinion, Capote spent time on providing us with the crimes of these men to further drive the underlying message.
Even in 1965 there was recognition that we live in a society of growing violence. It is fascinating to me that even then, in a time where things were thought of as “simpler” there was a perception of increasing brutality and an ever rising apathy towards it. If I were to open a newspaper or log onto any news website, I can guarantee that there are several similar stories of cruelty and bloodshed to the one that rocked Holcomb all those years ago. What I find most disheartening, even after having my eyes opened to it by this book, is that I am no less accepting or indifferent to it.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
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